It’s been a week now since I stepped on the plane to Vilamoura and I have a confession.

I met someone when I was away and I found myself liking them.  A lot.

Drum roll……………….It was me.

Yep folks, having had the chance to kick back and truly relax on my break was a bit of a journey of discovery, No. make that a re-discovery. Of who I was, who I am and who I would like to be. I may not really be making much sense at this moment in time but bear with me.

I had big plans for when I was in Portugal. I had every intention of spending time reading and note writing for the blog but, another flipping confession.  I didn’t do it.  Not one bit. Not one jot. I was disappointed when I first returned but now, upon reflection, it was the best thing I NEVER did.

Confidence

I knew I had grown more confident over the past few years. Being a mum and getting married has made a big difference to me in the confidence stakes. Both give me a sense of belonging that I did not possess before either of these major events.

However, they come with a price; it’s not too hefty, but a price nonetheless. I am talking of the pressure I constantly put myself under to be the best mum and best wife I can be.  Sometimes the daily struggle of trying to achieve this, along with studying for a degree and the plans for this blog, leave me feeling like jam that doesn’t quite reach the edge of the toast. The spread of me is just too thin.

Worry Free

In the absence of my daily routine of getting up at 6.30, the school run, the day at the office (although this bit I do love, great girls!), after school clubs, dinner, washing, cleaning, ironing, (oops big lie, I never iron!), story reading and time with my husband.

Without all of this,  just for a brief time, I could just be.

My mind felt completely free.  It hadn’t felt like that for a long time.  It felt good.

Don’t get me wrong, a break is a break and had my time away been longer than 3 nights, I really would have started to miss all of the above.  I just had a sensation of being completely removed from my life at home and although this was an odd feeling, it was not uncomfortable.  I knew subconsciously that it was not permanent.

Don’t Leave Me

The thing is now I’ve met her.  I don’t want her to leave.  She’s more relaxed than the person that regularly loses the plot in the morning with her son, when he doesn’t  get dressed quickly enough.  Or the person who drives a little too fast sometimes to get to work or the person that wants everything  done now.

She is who I aspire to be. She is the best version of me that I can be and I want her to stick around for a while.

She is good for my soul and my karma, smart and funny too. She possesses full on 24/7 confidence, zero self doubt and is calm and collected at all times.

My nearest and dearest will certainly benefit from her presence.

It’s no wonder I want this love affair to continue.

The Big Question

How do I get her to stick around?

I started to think about some of the things that I did or happened whilst I was away that provided me with such clarity and made me feel as good as I do.  Here they are:

♥ Living in the present – I was concentrating on just being. There was no plan. I was purely thinking of the now. I found it refreshing to think that way and it opened my mind to new options and possibilities. The right now is life.

♥ Disconnecting – no computer and no television, really helped. I didn’t quite manage 100% as I still had my phone but I do hope to go offline a bit more than I do now.

♥ Listening to my inner voice – Having no other distractions meant that my instincts were finely tuned.  I listened and I stayed calm.  I felt great.

♥ Using Positive Words – Positive speech breeds positive thought.  There was no room for negativity in my conversations.

♥Giving out compliments – I tend to do this at home too but I noticed myself doing it more whilst I was away.  It felt good to make other people feel good too.

♥ Dressing vibrantly – I really enjoyed dressing up in brighter colours.  I aim to wear them more as they definitely had a positive effect on my mood. There is too much grey in the world. Enough said

♥ I smiled and noticed what was right, right now – I said a few times when I was away, ‘it is what it is’. By this I meant that everything that happens in my life is neither good or bad,   It all depends on my perspective.  And no matter how my life turns out it will end up just the way it should. I will succeed or learn and move on.

♥ Making new friends – I love people! ‘No Sh** Sherlock’ I hear you cry! they fascinate me and form part of ‘life’s rich tapestry’. There is nothing more interesting than meeting new people and enjoying lively discussions and debates on a variety of subjects. I never fail to come away with new ideas from socializing.

♥ Dressing up and doing something fun – Getting dressed up and going out. I kind of knew I loved this.  I write this blog after all.  Being away and doing just this confirmed how important to me it really is.

♥ Listening to good music – Music is truly magical for the soul, I love live music. End of. There is no truly better natural high than a decent live band.

♥ Laughing – that ache your face, hurt your belly laughing that sometimes starts and doesn’t stop. I need to do more at home and I fully intend to.

♥ Slowing down – I slowed down.  I took time to breath and I concentrated on only the few things that really mattered.  I aim to no longer try and juggle tasks.  Things can wait. Living my life at top speed is not going to get me there any quicker.

♥ Being silly – I love being silly. I like to laugh at myself, and just let go. There was plenty of opportunity for this whilst I was away. Being outrageous is fun.

♥ Saying “yes” to a spontaneous opportunity – I am so glad I said yes to my friend when she suggested this trip.  I wasn’t sure how it would work out but I am sure glad I said ‘yes’ to this opportunity and just went with the flow.

Keeping up the good work

By continuing to consciously include these actions I have a good feeling that this great new relationship will flourish. It may just be the best thing that could have happened. Now. Right now.  After all, that’s where we’re living, right?

How about you? What actions make you feel good?

Please feel free to add your thoughts.

Self love rules

Anita

Images of me by the lovely Esme Robinson